Well, here we are, a good few hours after yet another tedious and pointless England friendly............and nobody can be bothered so much, as to make comment on it.
So, I'll start with the Guardians Barry Glendennings ramblings on it........quite amusing I thought:

Oh, bugger it. Here's the whole thing...........

Pre-match niceties: Sir Bobby Charlton, who it seems will agree to anything if it means getting into a football match for free, presents David Beckham with a golden cap, so the former England captain will have something to help him remember the 100th cap he won against France last time out. Like anyone is going to forget it after all the palaver it caused. Quite why he's playing tonight is anyone's guess. Mine is that it's for commercial reasons: he plays in the Major Soccerball League and England's opposition tonight are Team USA. Will he ever play for England again? If he travels, next time out against T&T could be his last cap, I reckon.

1 min: Kelly Rowland puts the Wembley PA through its paces with a preposterously OTT rendition of the Star Spangled Banner, then somebody far less attractive sings God Save The Queen. England kick off.

2 min: England have 18 substitutes on their bench tonight. Eighteen! Only six can be used, so it seems a little pointless. Then again, the whole thing seems a little pointless? It's a complete waste of everybody's time and yet the presence of about 70,000 fans, many of whom have paid their own money to be here, would suggest that there really is no accounting for taste.

4 min: Jermain Defoe controls a long ball pumped up front from the back and attempts to play Wayne Rooney through for a one-on-one with Tim Howard in the Everton goal. Offside.

5 min: My email inbox is groaning under the weight of your predictions for the outcome of this game. I'm not sure what I did to convey the impression that I might be even remotely interested in receiving them, but I can assure you it was accidental.

9 min: Another long ball up the centre from the England defence. Over on the left wing, Steven Gerrard gets upended by Ricardo Clark from the Houston Dynamos and wins a free-kick. Replays show the Liverpool midfielder to have dived ... in a friendly. That's fairly pathetic, even by his low standards.

11 min: David Beckham sends in a low diagonal cross that bounces on the edge of the six-yard box. Good delivery, but there's nobody in a white shirt present to poke it home.

14 min: Like the lionhearted warrior he is, England's brave skipper John Terry dispossesses Eddie Johnson and passes the ball a couple of yards sideways to Owen Hargreaves. Although it's difficult to tell from my position in a Farringdon bunker, I think he might still crying as a result of events from last Wednesday night.

15 min: I know I am, albeit with laughter.

17 min: David Beckham shanks the ball 10 yards over the crossbar from just outside the D on the USA penalty area.

20 min: Daniel Vergara writes from the USA, very presumptuously, as it happens. "Since we all know you don't give a f*** about England and you probably want them to lose, and since you surely also believe that MLS is quality-wise the equivalent of the Conference, and personally blame the US starting XI for the Iraq war and the subversion of the Kyoto protocol," he decides, "I was wondering when was the last time that you genuinely cared about the score of a (meaningful) football game, or the last time you were hurt (however slightly) by someone's snipy or sarcastic comments about a team you cared about."

22 min: Well Daniel, the other day I told somebody that I genuinely believed the Offaly hurling team would never win another All Ireland final in my lifetime and immediately felt a little morose at the prospect. Does that count? I hope they prove me wrong.

24 min: Jermain Defoe gallops down the right wing, then crosses to Steven Gerrard just inside the American penalty area. His effort is blocked. Moments later, he has another shot blocked by Clint Dempsey after a well worked England free-kick.

25 min: At last, Team America launch a noteworthy sortie into England territory. It ends with Fulham's Eddie Johnson shooting tamely into England goalkeeper David James' breadbasket from a narrow angle.

27 min: Free kick for the US about 40 yards out from England's goal, left of centre. DaMarcus Beasley takes it and fails to clear the two-man wall. Unbelievable ineptitude! Having just seen that attempt at a free-kick, I would say to Daniel Vergara that it would be an insult to England's fifth tier to liken the standard of MLS football to that of the Conference ... but Beasley plays for Rangers in Scotland, who can't even win a league that's worse.

29 min: Half an hour gone and the US aren't being asked too many questions by England at all. This encounter as pedestrian and dull as Dublin's Grafton Street on a Sunday night. Neither goalkeeper has had to make a save yet.

32 min: Free-kick for the US, wide on the right, over near the touchline. DaMarcus Beasley sends the ball in to the mixer and Wayne Rooney heads clear.

34 min: Wayne Rooney and Steven Gerrard combine well down the left, before the latter sends a low ball across the edge of the six-yard box. It's beautifully teed up for Jermain Defoe, who extends a toe and ... somehow sends it wide.

36 min: "In England those who can, do, but those who can't teach," writes Stephen Taylor-Matthews. "Would the Americanism be that those who can't, play soccer for Fulham?" Very droll, Stephen. Carlos Bocanoegra will be very upset if he reads this report. He's just been released by them.

England 1-0 USA! USA! USA! (Terry 37) England win a free-kick wide on the right. David Beckham sends it into the penalty area, where, for the second time in a week, lion-hearted England captain John Terry once again finds himself unable to remain on his feet. Instead he rises like a salmon and heads the ball into the bottom right-hand corner. He celebrates as if he's just scored the winning the penalty in a Champions League final shoot-out. He must have seen somebody do it once, because I can't think how else he'd know what to do.

40 min: Jermain Defoe shoots high and wide from distance. Moments earlier, Steven Gerrard and driven a free-kick into the US defensive wall when he should have done better.

43 min: Team USA's right-back Steve Cherundolo, who plays his football in Germany with Hannover, gets booked for a professional foul on Jermain Defoe and England win a free-kick a couple of metres outside the penalty area. David Beckham steps up, but fails to clear the wall.

45 min: On the BBC, well-past-his-prime commentator (yes, yes, I can talk) John Motson keeps going on about how much character John Terry has shown to bounce back from last week's penalty miss. It's almost as if Motty honestly believes that scoring a goal in an end-of-season kickabout against a bunch of training cones makes up for the disappointment he suffered last week. No doubt some idiot journalist will ask Terry afterwards if scoring here has "gone some way towards making up for the disappointment of Moscow, John?" No matter what his reply, I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that it probably hasn't.

Half-time, thank God. That was terrible.

Half-time punditry

"On the subject of hurling, I had the pleasure of seeing a local hurling match in Dublin last week-end," writes Howard D. "Not a handbag, dive or teary complaint in sight. No wonder you're sensitive about it." That's nice to hear, Howard, but I'm not going to pretend hurling is perfect. If you'd been watching in Cork you'd have seen plenty of diving. Unless their striking players are still refusing to play, that is.

In an irony overload on the BBC, Alan Shearer has just likened the first half of England v USA! USA! USA! to watching paint dry. Now he knows how the rest of us feel having to listen to him.

Some actual proper punditry, from Phil Sawyer. "My word, Barry, you're setting new standards of lack-lustre for the MBM," he writes. "Can't blame you though – the England players seem to have decided that the way to strike a balance between the possession game that Capello wants and the park football approach they're used to is simply to play no football at all. Am contemplating spending the second half watching my toenails grow."

"I just heard BBC anchor Gary Lineker having a passing go there at the Yank commentators: '... and it's Beck-ham from the 70 yard line, etc?'" writes Darragh Costelloe. "Obviously he hasn't learnt his lesson from his 2002 blunder/plagiarism of the Guadrian's own Scott Murray work."

46 min: England substitution: Dave Bentley on, David Beckham off. Team USA subs: Brad Guzan on, Tim Howard off. Frankie Hejduk on, Steve Cherundolo off.

47 min: As England's defenders stand around looking at the ball much like cows might gaze at an empty plastic bag blowing around a field, Eddie Lewis nips in amongst them, gets on the end of a cross and sends an excellent scoring opportunity wide from the edge of the penalty area.

50 min: Eddie Lewis? Make that Eddie Johnson.

51 min: Wayne Rooney plays Jermain Defoe, who timed his run perfectly, through on goal, but the Portsmouth striker shoots harmlessly at Brad Guza in the American goal.

52 min: Free-kick for England, wide on the left. The ball's swung in to the penalty area, where Defoe turns his man expertly before shooting straight at the goalkeeper from seven or eight yards. Defoe has been given an excellent opportunity to prove his goalscoring prowess to Fabio Capello tonight and he's doing his damnedest to waste it.

56 min: England substitution: Frank Lampard off, Gareth Barry on. Wes Brown off, Glen Johnson on. My inbox is now bulging at the seams with mails from people who've written in to tell me to stop being so miserable because I'm being paid to watch football for a living. Look, I don't know what this is, but it sure ain't football. It makes the grotesque display of anti-rugby put on by Munster in the Heineken Cup final last Saturday look as entertaining as Cirque du Soleil by comparison.

GOAL! England 2-0 USA! USA! USA! (Gerrard 59) That's more like it. Some lovely passing football from England, started and finished by Steven Gerrard, who times his run through the centre perfectly to latch on to a pass along the floor from Gareth Barry and slot it past Brad Guzan. HGe's played very well tonight.

63 min: "Imagine all those people who've just got home from work and have settled down with a glass of wine, expecting the apprentice," writes Jamie B. I can imagine them, yes. They sat down in the hops of seeing a lot of preening egomaniac divas mincing about trying to impress an old man with a sun tan, but instead they're stuck watching etc and so on.

68 min: England substitution: Peter Crouch on, Jermain Defoe off. Team USA substitutions: DaMarcus Beasley and Josh Wolff off, Freddy Adu and Eddie Lewis on.

71 min: American corner, which England clear before launching a counter-attack. Nothing comes of it.

73 min: "Wow, you're such a journo stereotype!" writes Luke Harber. "Jaded, cynical and depressed. Are you an alcoholic too? Try and cultivate some originality please!!! A dash of light hearted amusement or something!" Light-hearted amusement!? Didn't you read my Apprentice gag or are you just too thick to understand it? If it makes you feel any better I've got a novelty buzzer electric handshake in my palm too, so if we ever meet and shake hands you're bound to be light of heart and highly amused.

75 min: In an effort to spread some light-hearted amusement, the referee shows Wayne Rooney a yellow card for a late tackle. It doesn't make the England striker chuckle. USA! USA! USA! get a free-kick, which Freddy Adu takes with hilarious consequences - his delivery is atrocious. Alluding to the enormous fuss that was made over the young American when he was still a foetus, BBC co-commentator Mark Lawrenson wastes no time in cranking out a "much Adu about nothing" gag. And to think Luke Harber says I'm jaded, eh?

78 min: USA substitutions: Ricardo Clark off, Maurice Edu on (Edu and Adu on - that'll cause Motty problems). England substitution: Wayne Rooney off, Joe Cole on for his 50th cap.

80 min: Some very astute analysis, from somebody who seems to really care. "Capello really isn't offering anything different to McClaren," writes Simon Horwell. "What a drab midfield on offer and what uninspiring substitutions. What on earth has the best passer in England, Michael Carrick, got to do to get in the squad? And what is the sense in bringing on Crouch instead of the infinitely better Ashton? And for the love of god some pace and width please!!! Ashley Young?? This is a very depressing vision of the future."

81 min: England substitution: Wayne Bridge on, Ashley Cole off. "Full marks for your descriptive powers re: cows, fields and bags
blowing in the wind," writes Victor Ireland. "But where's your sense of responsibility? You must make that metaphoric bag paper not plastic." Sorry about that, Victor. I briefly forgot who my paymasters were. My next metaphorical bag will be made from jute.

85 min: England corner, which Bentley sends in to the American penalty area. Courageous England captain John Terry is penalised for an infringement and the Yanks win a free-kick.

87 min: "Re: Luke Harber's comment in the 73rd min. Despite the scoreline, I can't help feeling any halfway decent team would still take this England team apart (no change there, then), so presumably this makes me jaded and cynical," writes Phil Sawyer. "I also reached for the whiskey pretty early in this match. It would appear by Luke's standards that I'm eminently qualified to be a journo. Any jobs going?"

88 min: England almost bag a third when Peter Crouch gets on the end of a cross from David Bentley and attempts to steer it past Brad Guzan from the edge of the six-yard box. His effort is blocked. USA substitution: Johnson off, Joqua on. I'm not sure how many Eddie Lewises and Johnsons that I have out on the pitch at the moment - I've completely lost track as I kept mixing them up throughout the game. My apologies, but you should probably just be thankful that Eddie Pope has retired.

90+1 min: Corner for England, from which they win another one. David Bentley plays it short to Owen Hargreaves, who plays a one-two with Glen Johnson. Team America clear.

Full time:Peep! Peep! Peep! The referee puts everyone out of their misery by bringing proceedings to a close. It was a dismal match in which one very average team beat a really awful one. To be fair, the second half, with its higher tempo, wasn't quite as boring as the first, but then it couldn't possibly have been. Man of the Match Steven Gerrard and Wayne Rooney played well for England, but it's difficult to put into words just how feeble their opponents were. A set of traffic cones would have put up more resistance and still England only won 2-0. But then it's an end-of-season friendly about which nobody cares, so what does it matter?

Tonight's final word goes to Alex Welby, who probably has a point: "When will anyone work out that England overachieved with Sven in charge and lapsed back to their normal level immediately under McClaren?" he asks. "Even if Capello gets the best out of this lot, they will only ever reach the quarter-finals of tournaments before being knocked out on pens."

My summary will be a tad briefer.

Lampard and Gerrard can NOT play in the same team together, especially not when you've got someone like Gareth Barry sat on the bench.

The midfield should consist of Hargreaves and Barry in the centre with Gerrard just ahead of them, Cole or Young on the left, Bentley or Beckham on the right.

Rooney needs bringing down a peg or ten. His swearing at the ref AFTER he'd been booked was nothing short of disgraceful. Had it been a competitive match he would (and rightfully so) have been shown a second yellow. Can he be trusted, should we ever get into a tournament again, to be allowed on the pitch after he's already got a yellow - IMHO the answer is a simple 'no'.

All in all, it was a pretty dour affair - as the majority of England games tend to be.

I was disappointed to see players such as Young, Ashton, Hart, etc remain on the bench. What's the point of bringing on players like J.Cole and Crouch when everyone knows what they can do and what they're capable of?!

Agreed. Another yawnfest in the main and IS IT JUST ME??? I f*cking hate that bloody fans band with a passion...I would ban their sad arses so fast.........I think they know three f****ing tunes and then compete to see who can finish first or play them the worse........the coont with the trumpet is way in front by my reckoning.......

How much longer will consecutive England managers persist trying to find a system that accomadates Gerrard and Lampard in the starting 11?

Rooney is an undisputed talent at club level, at international level he seems to be an expensive liability.

We DO know what Cole and Crouch are capable of AND not capable of and it would have been the perfect opportunity to see what the likes of Young, Agbonlahor and Ashton could have bought to our attack.........18 subs on the bench......what a waste of their time!

Gerrard bossed the game on the left hand side, his combinations with Rooney were key to their success yesterday!

Hargreaves was also tremendous, did well.

Terry showed great character

Didn't actually see the match but I heard that the U.S. was absolute pants.

Oh come on Tinhead, it was a poor first half display, that improved slightly in the second half, mainly because a very poor opposition were significantly worse after the second goal...........England were average at best against a VERY POOR USA team...........if you can dress that up and see something to rave about in Gerrard and Rooney's displays, then you are ever the optimist, mate!

I could have bossed that left side......

Hargreaves WILL run all day...but when that is the 'one string to your bow', then I guess you have too...........

Terry....He missed a penalty in a final,...well, boo hoo........he gets paid an extortionate amount of money to show character!!


Tedious game..........waste of time, from which little was learned that everybody and his dog didn't already know.


...and those were the positives.......

I forgot it was on and only remembered in time to watch the second half..

Wish my memory wasn't so good at times like this.

I could have done without the watching the second half too.

He looked as much of a striker as Dirk Kuyt!

It was very poor, with nothing learned at all. Surely that's the key to having friendlies? Learn something that you didn't previously know! We all know David James is a good goalkeeper. We all know Wes Brown and Ashley Cole will do a job at full backs. We know what we'll get from captain courageous [end sarcasm] 'JT' and Rio Ferdinand at centre half. We know what we'll get from Frank Lampard and Owen Hargreaves in the centre of midfield and 'Beck's on the right. We even know what we'll get from Steven Gerrard on the left - we've seen that failed experiment before under poor old Sven - who, let's face it, in retrospect is looking like he got the best out of a bunch of over-rated, over-hyped 'super stars'

Why not try something different? Play Joe Hart in goal, let's see what he's got to offer. Play Ashley Young and SWP (or Aaron Lennon) on the wings, play Tom Huddlestone in the middle of the park, play Agbonlahor or Walcott (who could play on the wing also) up front. Huddlestone's lack of pace (to put it politely) could be compensated for by him spraying the ball around to the likes of Young, SWP and Agbonlahor, who can use their pace and trickery to cause problems for defences. If it doesn't work against the likes of USA, in friendlies, then so what? What's lost, exactly?

We already know that this generation of English footballers are doomed to failure, let's start the ball rolling on the next generation's failure, which let's face it, is inevitable!

Capello is trying to enforce an Italian style of possession football on a group of players who prefer to play the 'English game' - that is hoof it up the field to a target man, and the midfield chase up field to join the strikers. There's nothing wrong with that, stick to what you're best at. There's no point trying to make a pork casserole out of beef.

Didn't you watch the Wales game? You can get s4c up there can't you? you get the chance to watch either Wales or England and you choose England

Me on the other hand had the pick of both and chose to play poker and mix my drinks with one hand and pick my nose with the other...also managed to find the odd crusty arse crack hair, thats how interested i was in the footy.

I did however get texts from scouser with footy updates but still couldn't tell you the results as he speeks a differant lingo...German i think.

Disclaimer: One should stay away from forums if they been awake all night drinking strongbow, lager, beer and wine, whilst talking total bollox with the best of them.

FFS i got a stag do in 3 hours and ain't been to bed yet

Oh happy dayzzzzzz

Scott, I actually watched the first 15 minutes of the England game and decided enough was enough. I knew how the game would pan out and I could just fill in the blanks!

I wanted to watch some of the Wales game, but watched Spooks on DVD instead. I'm in the process of re-watching the whole thing. I thought I was missing football, but watching the first 15 minutes of the England game made me think that really I'm not missing it at all. Not that much anyway!

I still haven't seen Ched Evans goal, is it on You Tube yet? Apparently it's a bit special.

Wales actually have better young players than England, that has to be a first, I reckon!

I saw the goal on s4c at the end of the England game and it's a cheeky one to say the least.

As for Wales having better youngsters than England that must be down to the Welsh manager.......who happens to be an ex Red legend.

Yeah, I have heard it's a cheeky one. Not bad for a first touch in international football! I'll have to have a look on You Tube later, it's bound to be on there by now.

As for Tosh he's not really got the full support of the fans, a lot of people are getting a little fed up of him playing a 4-5-1 formation against rubbish countries, suggesting that we should have the personnel to beat these countries with 2 up front.

No coincidence that Wales scored moments after switching to a 4-4-2, with striker Ched Evans coming on as a sub for an injured midfielder.

Thinking about it, I dunno if I'm right suggesting Wales have better young players. It's probably fairly even, which is an achievement for Wales in itself! The likes of Gareth Bale, Chris Gunter, Aaron Ramsey have similar potential to the likes of Theo Walcott. Is it a coincidence though that these players have been produced by non-Premier League clubs?

there you go kev

Kind of reminds me of this one.
Ryan Babel v Besiktas